“The true measure of a man is not how he behaves in moments of comfort and convenience but how he stands at times of controversy and challenges.”
- Martin Luther King Jr.
Makes me think about the medical fact that a person react's up to 400% stronger when engaged emotional.........makes one think.
Do I react stronger and more emotional when I become hungry?
Am I going to be more aggressive when I feel attacked?
Do I act more emotional when I am stressed and under pressure?
Regards Mark
I have a lot of people asking me: what is NLP and what can they do with NLP (Neuro-linguistic programming)
The simple and short answer is: Programming the language of your brain!
Some might ask themselves what possible good that can be!? Even though the practical process is complex, the answer is simple: Outstanding results can be achieved by producing specific communication to and through the nervous system.
Which basically means that, NLP is an interpersonal communication model and an alternative approach to psychotherapy based on the subjective study of language, communication and personal change!
It was co-created by Richard Bandler and linguist John Grinder in the 1970s. The initial focus was pragmatic, modeling three successful psychotherapists, Fritz Perls (Gestalt Therapy), Virginia Satir (Family Systems Therapy), and eventually Milton H. Erickson (Clinical Hypnosis), with the aim of discovering what made these individuals more successful than their peers.
Today the predominant patterns of NLP, the application of those patterns, and many variants of NLP are found in seminars, workshops, books and audio programs in the form of exercises and principles intended to influence change in self and others. Watch out when buying some of these offers, there is a great deal of difference between the depth and breadth of training and standards, and some disagreement between those in the field about which patterns are and are not "NLP".
I know this sound scary, however while the field of NLP is loosely spread and resistant to a single comprehensive definition, there are some common principles and presuppositions shared by its proponents. Perhaps most generally, NLP aims to increase behavioral choice by the manipulation of personal state, belief and internal representation either by a practitioner/trainer, or by self-application.
Some of the main ideas, many imported from existing counseling or psychotherapy practice, include:
· Problems, desires, feelings, beliefs and outcomes are represented in visual, auditory and kinesthetic (and sometimes gustatory, olfactory) systems.
· When communicating with someone, rather than just listening to and responding to what a person said, NLP aims to also respond to the structure of verbal communication and non-verbal cues.
· Certain language patterns such as the meta model of NLP can help clarify what has been left out or distorted in communication, to specify thinking and outcomes, reframe beliefs, and set sensory specific goals. In contrast, the Milton model language patterns are intentionally non-specific and metaphoric to allow the listener to fill in the gaps and make their own meaning from what is being said and find their own inner resources and solutions for problems.
· The actual state someone is in when setting a goal or choosing a course of action is also considered important. A number of techniques in NLP aim to enhance states by anchoring resourceful states associated with personal experience or model states by imitating others.
So the real question and conclusion a NLP coach or practitioner should come to is:
1. How and what should you do to produce optimum results.
2. How can you duplicate human excellence in a short period of time.
As already mentioned short, in NLP, modelling is the pathway to excellence. The very idea is that if you identify the traits and habits, and pay the price of time and effort of a successful athlete, friend, parent or businessman, you will become a successful athlete, friend, parent or businessman.
From business we all know that successful businesses man make money by determining what is successful in one city and duplicating it in another. Take a proven system and duplicate it, and maybe improve upon it. It might sound too simplistic for you, but there is scientific proof that, people who do this are virtually guaranteed success.
NLP in its very basics believe that the difference between those who succeed and those who fail isn't what they have – it is what they choose to see and do with their resources and experience of life. I guess this why it has become so prominent the last 30 years. For NLP is a tool to develop your own insights and strategies and help you change what you need.
This might sound very complex and difficult, but lets look at it a little more simplistic: you can teach a dog patterns that will improve his behaviour. From psychological as well as a behavioural science view, you can actually do the same with people (yourself). What is the message with that - as my brother who is a Doctor always puts it (and lives it): "seize excellence, and make it your own". Let's face it, isn't it true that building from the successes of others (seeing what works) is one of the fundamental aspects of most learning! Technology – every advance in technology is based on the foundation of earlier discoveries and breakthroughs.
Many have used the basics of NLP in their marketing and approaches, for example Anthony Robbins saw "success marketing" his self-help programs using infomercials. Personal Power, one of Robbins self-help audio programs launched in 1989 has sold in excess of US $100 million.Previously Robbins had published Unlimited Power, an a American best seller based largely on NLP. While Robbins incorporated some aspects of NLP in what he called Neuro Associative Conditioning and later programs, NLP was mentioned less often as he couldn't get a practical use across to people (besides the general messages)
This however doesn't change the fact that for many NLP and its basic principles are really a way of thinking, an epistemology — the study of knowledge — of how we know what we know. As an Engineer, I however have to say that in considering NLP as a science, it is important to recognize that the epistemology of NLP is more 'subjective' and 'systematically' oriented than many 'hard' sciences, which tend to be more 'objective' and 'deterministic'. That is the patterns explored and identified by NLP are often necessarily contextual and influenced by the perceptual filters of the observer. As a scientific approach, then, NLP tends to be more 'qualitative' than 'quantitative' and more 'structuralist' than 'materialistic.......but since this is deep psychological and mindset approach, it is argued that this is scientifically speaking valid.
In NLP, here are the 3 very basic and fundamental ingredients that must be duplicated to form any form of human excellence:
1. Belief System
2. Mental Syntax – organise thoughts, and understand how other people organise their thoughts. "Unlock the code"
3. Physiology – the way you breathe, hold your body, posture, your movements, determines what state you are in.
Now how this is done and put to everyday life, comes in slightly different versions of what coaches or practitioners consider to be the basic principles or presuppositions of NLP, but there is a fairly high degree of agreement on those most central to NLP. So here are some generalizations used as working guides (maybe it can help the one or the other).
· Behind every behavior there is a positive intention. Even a seemingly negative thought or behavior has a positive function at some level or in some other context. (presupposition)
· There is no failure, only feedback. (presupposition)
· The meaning of the communication is the response it produces, not the intended communication. (presupposition)
· One cannot not communicate: Every behaviour is a kind of communication. Because behaviour does not have a counterpart (there is no anti-behaviour), it is not possible not to communicate.
· Choice is better than no choice. An idea from cybernetics that holds the most flexible element in a system will have the most influence or choice in that system.
· People already have all the internal resources they need to succeed. (presupposition)
· Multiple descriptions are better than one
Sorry for making this a long article, but this subject is deep and this is really just scratching the surface and in ending here is my very practical advice: Your behaviour and actions are a result of your state. The ancestor of every action is a thought......but this is nothing new, already in the teachings of Buddha, the Torah, the Qur'ān and in the Bible it is stated the same basic principle "beware of your thoughts, they are the gateway to your actions".
So, if one changes ones beliefs, one can achieve huge results. There is simply no power like the power of a resourceful state of mind, for the kind of behaviour people produce is the result of the state they are in. How they respond to the state they are in is based on their models of the world (there believe system). Most people take little conscious effort to direct their states. State change is what most people are after,when they want to change a behaviour.
Successful people know how to tap into their resourceful states. You can control the state you are in. You do not have to be at the mercy of whatever comes your way.
It has been analysed and proven that there were a few common traits expert communicators and successful people had – whether top therapists, top executives or top salespeople – all seemed to share (study by Bandler and Grinder, 1979):
· Everything they did in their work, was pro-active (rather than reactive), directed moment to moment by well-formed outcomes rather than formalized fixed beliefs
· They were exceedingly flexible in approach and refused to be tied down to using their skills in any one fixed way of thinking or working.
· They were extremely aware moment by moment, of the non-verbal feedback (unconscious communication and metaphor) they were getting, and responded to it - usually in kind rather than by analyzing it.
· They enjoyed the challenges of difficult ("resistant") clients, seeing them as a chance to learn rather than an intractable "problem"
· They respected the client as someone doing the best they knew how (rather than judging them as "broken" or "working")
· They had certain common skills and things they were aware of and noticed, that were intuitively "wired in"
· They worked with precision, purpose, and skill
· They kept trying different approaches until they learned enough about the structure holding a problem in place to change it
They summarized their findings in the following ways:
You need only three things to be an absolutely exquisite communicator and change to be successful. We have found that there are three major patterns in the behaviour of every therapeutic wizard we've talked to — and executives, and salespeople. The first one is to know what outcome you want. The second is that you need flexibility in your behaviour. You need to be able to generate lots and lots of different behaviours to find out what responses you get. The third is you need to have enough sensory experience to notice when you get the responses that you want [...] (Bandler and Grinder, 1979)
So let me end in saying, if you want something real practical to start to work with NLP, here is something you should start working with:
1. Control your thoughts they become your dreams/visions and thereby directions
2. Control your dreams/visions they become your actions
3. Control your actions they become your habits
4. Control your habits they become what you will be made of ...............your destiny
I strongly believe that excellence is made, not born. That's why I'm dedicated to helping you grow and master practice this difficult task.
Regards Mark von Rosing
Aus meiner 8-jährigen Erfahrung als Personal Development Trainer und Coach weiß ich, dass es von einer Vielzahl von Faktoren abhängig ist, welchen Weg die eigene persönliche Entwicklung nimmt. In bunter Mischung prägen die genetische Veranlagung, die Herkunft, Erfahrungen in der Kindheit, traumatische Erlebnisse, sozialer Status, Arbeitsumfeld, Umgebung, Glaube und zwischenmenschliche Beziehungen die Persönlichkeit. Dabei balanciert zu bleiben, die Leichtigkeit des Lebens zu erfahren und die eigene Persönlichkeit zur vollen eigenen Zufriedenheit zu entfalten, ist in der Tat ein schwieriges Unterfangen. Allzu oft machen einem die äußeren Umstände und die eigene Veranlagung einen Strich durch die Rechnung. Hat man Glück, geht man gestärkt aus einer schwierigen Situation hervor.
Manche Leute, mit denen ich arbeite, sind der Meinung, sie brauchen externe Hilfe, z.B. sie brauchen einen Heiler, um sich zu heilen…….sie sollten jedoch eher ihre eigene Kraft zum Heilen finden!
Daher möchte ich ein paar meiner Gedanken hier zum Ausdruck bringen:
Gehst Du zu externem Channeling und/oder medialen Durchsagen, solltest aber selbst hören lernen?
Betrügst Du Dich selbst, in dem Du einen Guru suchst, aber was Du in Wirklichkeit bräuchtest, ist Dein eigener Meister zu sein
Denn sonst suchst Du:
• innere Freiheit, kriegst aber nur Sehnsucht?
• nach innerer Kraft, kriegst aber nur Halt in der Not?
• nach innerer Wahrheiten, kriegst aber nur Weisheiten?
• nach Deiner innere Flamme, kriegst aber nur Licht?
• immer weiter und weiter nach innerer Liebe, aber es wird nur von Liebe gesprochen?
• nach Veränderung, solltest aber Deine Selbstheilung finden?
• nach Vorstellungen vom Leben, solltest aber Dich im Leben finden?
• nach lichtvollen und geistigen Momenten, solltest aber dein Licht und Deine Geistigkeit finden?
Es wird Zeit, dass Du keinen Selbstbetrug mehr machst, nicht mehr nach Rettung suchst, sondern Dich selbst findest und heilst.
Setze Dich endlich frei, in dem Du Deine eigene Kraft findest und Du Dein eigener Meister wirst.
Wie Du dies gut machen kannst?……. tja, wie gesagt, der Weg, den Deine eigene persönliche Entwicklung nehmen kann, ist von einer Vielzahl von Faktoren abhängig. Jedoch kann ich Dir ein paar grundlegende Tipps geben, eine harmonische Persönlichkeit zu werden und damit startet auch deine Reise, Dich selber zu finden:
• Zur Grundlage muss ich sagen: verstelle Dich nicht, bleibe authentisch, d.h. die Person, die Du wirklich bist. Selbstverstellung blockiert das Beziehungsmuster zu Dir selbst.
• Befreie Dich von Über-Ich-Strukturen (also alle dem, was Dir Deine Eltern, Erzieher, Lehrer usw. vorzugeben versuchten; vermeintliche Pflichten; Hin-und-her-Gerissen sein zwischen eigener Einstufung und dem, was vermeintlich Dein persönliches Umfeld von Dir verlangt) und denke selbst nach, was gut und böse, richtig oder falsch ist.
• Lasse Dich überraschen, wohin Dich Dein Bestreben nach Optimierung Deiner Persönlichkeit hinführt; jedoch kann ich nur sagen, vermeide ein stures Voranschreiten in eine bestimmte Richtung, gebe Dir selbst nicht schon vorweg Lösungen vor.
• Bedenke gute oder unliebsame Regungen Deiner Psyche oder Deines Körpers mit kindlichem Staunen; gute Regungen solltest Du festhalten, unliebsame dürfen nach ihrem Kommen auch gleich wieder gehen (dies ist wichtig, denn Dein Gefühlsleben bestimmt oft dein Handeln).
• Vermeide bezüglich zukünftigen Handlungen "gute Vorsätze"; konzentriere Dich stattdessen auf all jene Dinge, die Du wirklich gern, aus Liebe, aus Zuneigung, aus Sympathie machen willst.
Wie gesagt, sollen diese Tipps eine kleine Anregung sein, Dich selbst besser zu "finden“ und damit Deine eigene Persönlichkeit sehr bewusst zu pflegen ("Psychohygiene"). Es wird Zeit, dass Du nicht nur andere zufriedenstellen willst sondern Dich, indem Du nicht externe Hilfe suchst, keinen Selbstbetrug mehr machst, nicht mehr nach Rettung suchst von außen, sondern Dich selbst findest. Dies wird Dich mehr und mehr frei setzen und Du wirst Deine eigene Kraft finden.
Ich freue mich darüber Euch in diesem Prozess einige Denkanstöße zu geben mit den besten Grüße aus dem heiteren Copenhagen.
Euer Moderator Mark von Rosing
Ich habe im Artikel “Finde deine Eigene Kraft“ einen Gedankenaustausch darüber gemacht was es Bedeutet seine eigene Kraft zu finden und möchte eigentlich gerne in diesem Artikel das selbe Thema erläutern jedoch diesmal mit dem Fokus in die Richtung von der Theorie hin zur Praxis (den dies ist schwer)
Wenn Ich als Ingenieur an Kraft denke, denke ich als erstes, an die Physik bezeichnete “Kraft“. Historisch gesehen wurde Kraft als physikalischer Fachbegriff, von Archimedes eingeführt und von Galilei aufgegriffen. Isaac Newton präzisierte den Begriff Kraft in bis heute gültiger Weise.
Für uns Interessant ist, das Kraft in der Physik als eine nicht näher definierten Einfluss auf den Bewegungszustand oder die Form eines Körpers beschrieben wird. Trotz dessen das es eine messbare Größe ist (Vektor oder Feldgröße), ist man nicht weiter in der Beschreibung gekommen als es für eine “nicht näher definierten Einfluss“ zu Bezeichnen. Generell spricht man Wissenschaftlich gesehen, in diesem Zusammenhang von einem Kraftfeld, was man auch sehr gut messen kann. Ich finde es jedoch Bewundernswert das jeder von uns weis das wir eine körperliche oder geistige Kraft (Kraftfeld) besitzen und trotz dessen das unser ganzer “Output“ (der Wirkung), alles was wir leisten davon abhängt beschäftigen wir uns so wenig damit. Denn Kräfte erkennt man extern gesehen nur an ihren Wirkungen (dem Output), jedoch weis man das jede Wirkungen eine Ursachen hat.
In der Persönlichkeitsentwicklung, sollten wir uns daher folgende Fragen stellen:
· Warum ist mein Output wie er ist?
· Welche Ursachen hat das?
· Wo kommt es her?
· Welche Faktoren soll/kann ich verändern um meine eigenen Kräfte zu erkennen und zu gebrauchen?
· Was muss ich machen um meine Kräfte in Einklang zu bringen?
Was sich Theoretisch sehr einfach anhört ist in der Praxis unheimlich schwer, den glaubt mir was dich von deiner eigenen kraft abhält, bist nur du. Dieses Phänomen nennt man eine polarisierende Kraft – im ganz einfachen erklärt etwas was du glaubst, denkst oder tust was deine anderen Kräfte entgegenwirkt, gegebenenfalls sogar aufhebt. Was einen dazu bringen kann das man einen inneren Kampf hat und damit ein inneres Ungleichgewicht.
Daher solltest du als erstes folgendes in deiner Selbstanalyse machen:
1. Gehe in dich herein und siehe in welchen Gebieten du dich:
o Alleine Fühlst
o Kraftlos Fühlst
o Ungleichgewicht Fühlst.
o Mit Scheinkräften beschäftigst.
2. Analysiere welche möglichen Ursachen dies hat und damit welche polarisierende dinge denkst du oder tust du das deine eigenen Kräfte neutralisiert.
Glaube mir, wir alle, in uns eine Unmenge von Energien und Kräfte in uns tragen und ich habe Persönlich gesehen wie eine Mensch sich verändern kann, indem er seine Eigene Kraft nutzt. Denn das ist das ungenutzte Potenzial von den alle reden. Wie schon vorher gesagt, sollen diese Tipps eine kleine Anregung sein, Dich selbst besser zu "finden“ und damit Deine eigene Persönlichkeit sehr bewusst zu pflegen ("Psychohygiene").
Euer Moderator Mark von Rosing
Again and again I get asked from People around the world where they can use Emotional Intelligence and what most of the People don’t realize is that the most already use Emotional Intelligence in their daily life without realizing it.
Here are some of the things you do when you use knowingly or unknowingly Emotional Intelligence:
· You become more familiar with your own and other people's emotions. You can name them correctly, attribute them to the right sources, and avoid acting upon them too quickly.
· You can identify the way emotions are caused and understand the psychological factors beyond.
· You manage your emotions and behavior to handle different situations in a better way.
· You improve your self-regulation and cope with frustration in a smarter way to better reach your goals.
· You take advantage of emotional intelligence in managing your work colleagues, team, friends or family in a motivating way.
· You build a strong, flexible and highly effective team or family- motivated by the right culture.
· You become good at triggering a decision – it goes faster, more effective and efficient.
· You deal with objections in a positive way.
· You inspire and motivate.
· You encourage confidence and trust.
· You enhance your conflict management skills (this is important in all matters of life).
· You conduct better performance reviews (with yourself and others9.
· You build more successfully relationships with other people.
· You improve your empathy. Are able to better identify other people's emotions - and understand their feelings and the reasons behind.
· You become better at listening to other people and become aware of what their feelings are – and where they come from. This will help you better identify the needs and wants of the people you try to lead.
· You become better at solving problems in relationships - to connect better with others - and maintain good relationships with honest expression of emotions based on diplomacy, consideration and respect. This will, for example, help you do much better in negotiations and in handling objections – which is important in all areas of life.
While every one of us, can agree that the People who master this, are truly much more in balance, we all realize as well, that these are competences that need to be practiced. In this process, just remember that no one ever learned to swim or ride a bicycle by simply reading a book on the subject or having someone tell you all about it. You learn to swim or to ride the bicycle by doing it. First someone must explain what you should do and how you should do it. Then you need more instruction and help as you start to practice it. The more you practice, the better you get. The same type of process is what you need to go through in your development of this Emotional Intelligence competence - to make certain that you pick up the type of skills and competencies that you need in order to grow, change or even become a peak performer.
I strongly believe that excellence is made, not born. That's why I’m dedicated to helping you grow and master practice this difficult task.
Regards Mark
There are several types of intelligence that human beings are equipped - with some more, with some less. Most people believe that the logical-mathematical type of intelligence (the IQ rating that many people focus on) has the most impact on whether you have success in life. That is absolutely wrong. If you want to do something that can really help you improve the quality of your life (in every way) - there is one thing that comes first: strengthen and cultivate your emotional intelligence as much as you possibly can.
Many people know that certain things they should do in a better way, but too often they don't know how - or do get started on the change process. We all work against some barriers that somehow keep us from doing what is best for us - and from realizing our true potential. My experience, from training and coaching more than 10.000 people in over 45 countries, substantiates that by adding emotional intelligence to your development plan, you can enable a remarkable change in your life. You will realize that skills, attitudes, and habits can be changed and or developed to better cope with the many different challenges in today's life.
How can you get started with Emotional Intelligence:
1. Start recognizing emotions - the ability to detect and decode emotions in faces, voices, movements, etc. - including the ability to identify one’s own emotions. Recognizing other people’s emotions presents a basic aspect of emotional intelligence, as it facilitates all other aspects of emotional intelligence.
2. Start understanding emotions - the ability to comprehend emotion language and to grasp complicated connections between emotions. For example, understanding emotions encompasses the ability to be sensitive to slight variations in emotions, and the ability to recognize and describe how emotions progress over time.
3. Start using emotions - the ability to exploit emotions to facilitate various cognitive activities, such as thinking and problem solving. The emotionally intelligent person can get the most out of his or her changing moods in order to best fit the task or challenge at hand.
4. Start managing emotions - the ability to regulate emotions in both ourselves and in others. Therefore, the emotionally intelligent manager or executive can control emotions, even negative ones, and use them constructively to achieve his goals.
I know that what sounds so easy in theory is in real life so difficult. However, that does not change the importants of it, for if you really want to better understand and exploit your potential- strengthen and cultivate your emotional intelligence. You will start to turn yourself into action mode and help you break through self imposed limitations that are holding you back from the power, balance, growth, and success that you strive for (and that is within you). You will explore how it is possible to build new levels of self discipline, while you grow in strengthening and cultivating your emotional intelligence, overcome indecisiveness and uncertainty, and strengthen your confidence - helping you to remove the mental and emotional obstacles that are limiting your personal growth and power.
Emotional Intelligence is truly a road worth traveling and therefore I am committed in helping you travel this road.
Regards - Mark
I just talked to a very dear friend of mine, about how belief is a psychological state in which an individual holds a proposition or premise (argument) to be true without necessarily being able to adequately prove its main contention to other people who may or may not agree. The interesting thing about this talk was that we both agreed on that a belief in itself, is for the person who beliefs in whatever he or she might believe in, is a guiding principle, a dictum, a matter of faith or one can even call it passion that can provide meaning and direction in life. A belief is a prearranged filter to our perceptions of the world. For instance, those who believe that the Sun is a god will report that they know that the Sun is a god.
Beliefs are very power full for the person that believes in something. One person with a belief is equal to a force of 99 who have only an interest. We could say a lot about the negative affects about fanatic beliefs, which I however don’t want to concentrate on in this article. I rather want to concentrate on what one can do with his or hers believe system. For beliefs, are the compass and maps that guide us to our goals, and give us surety that we know that we will get there.
Why really work on beliefs? If you really want to change our behavior, don’t start changing what you do. Start changing why you do it and the rest will follow. This is why we need to start with our own beliefs. Belief becomes reality (placebo experiments) – for example medical drugs are not always necessary, belief in recovery always is. Belief is nothing but a state, an IR that governs behavior. Change your belief, and change your IR, which will change your behavior. Belief is a choice.
Sources of Belief
1. Environment – Success breeds success, failure breeds failure. Generally no part of belief values.
2. Events, small or large can help foster beliefs.
3. Foster belief through knowledge
4. Belief based on our past results. If someone succeeds once or twice, they will succeed in the future.
5. Creating in your mind the experience you desire in the future as if it were now. (Goal setting)
You can control your beliefs, you can control the way you model yourself as well as others. You can consciously direct your life, you can change:
• Beliefs that have limited you and that keep you away from your true potential
• Beliefs that can serve to help you achieve your highest goals
If you do not like what you do - you can change..... how? Change your beliefs. Important is to change your limiting belief, which are the beliefs that inhibits exploration of a wider cognitive space than would otherwise be the case. Examples of limiting beliefs are seen both in animals and people. These may be strongly held beliefs, or held unconsciously, and are often tied in with self-image or perceptions about the world. Everyday examples of limiting beliefs:
• That one has specific capabilities, roles, or traits which cannot be escaped or changed.
• That one cannot succeed so there is no point committing to trying.
• That a particular opinion is right; therefore, there is no point considering other viewpoints.
• That a particular action or result is the only way to resolve a problem.
The key is to take your beliefs, and ensure that they are working for you in a way to achieve your goals and objectives, ie that they are enlightening, uplifting, effective and empowering.
If you believe, nothing can stop you ....... you will keep coming back until you succeed! If one changes ones beliefs and IR’s to +ve, one can achieve huge results. There is no power like the power of a positive resourceful state, for the kind of behavior people produce is the result of the state they are in (which is based and motivated by their belief system). How they respond to the state they are in is based on their models of the world (the reality within they operate). Most people take little conscious effort to direct their beliefs about themselves or about others. This is why I wrote in the start that when people try to change something, they should not change what they do, they should start changing their beliefs, for it is those that ether will imprisons them or enable them and maybe even set them free. So when people want to change – belief changes is what they should be after. They want to be in a +ve belief state. Believe me when I tell you that happy and successful people know how to tap into their resourceful “belief states”. You could do this as well, for you can control the state you are in. You do not have to be at the mercy of whatever comes your way. This is why it says in the Old Testament as well as the New Testament: “Nothing can be kept back to him who beliefs”.
Just remember that the key, is the ability to control, direct and manage your beliefs (yourself).
Good luck on working on your beliefs and remember, watch your state of mind, keep it positive, clean and true to yourself at any time.
Mark von Rosing
Diesen Artikel schreibe ich bewusst in Deutsch, da ich persönlich der Meinung bin das hier die meisten Deutschen etwas lernen können. Dies ist nicht als Vorwurf gedacht sondern als ein Ansporn. Wir wissen alle das Lob motiviert und zeugt von Anerkennung - deshalb ist auch Loben eines der mächtigsten Werkzeuge zur Beeinflussung des Verhaltens anderer Menschen. Das gilt vor allem im Berufsleben, z. B. gegenüber Kunden, Partnern, Mitarbeitern oder Geschäftspartnern. Trotzdem geizen die meisten Vertriebsbeauftragten, Selbstständige und Unternehmer mit lobenden Worten und positivem Feedback an ihre Umgebung.
Trotz das viele Menschen sich nichts sehnlicher wünschen als Anerkennung und Wertschätzung durch ihre Umgebung. Dies gilt ganz besonders für das Berufs- und Geschäftsleben! Doch ausgerechnet hier kommt positive Anerkennung viel zu kurz. Dies kann ich als Däne eigentlich nicht richtig verstehen, denn unsere Kultur ist dort anders. Den glaubt man einer aktuellen Umfrage der Jobbörse Stepstone unter 10.000senden in acht europäischen Ländern, dann hat Deutschland das größte Aufholpotential, den dort sind "mehr als die Hälfte der Kunden haben den Eindruck, dass ihre “Einkauf“ von ihrem Lieferanten nicht geschätzt werden. Bei Mitarbeiter ist es noch schlimmer, den Sie hungern nach Anerkennung, den nur 28 Prozent wissen sicher, dass ihre Arbeit honoriert wird."
Ein Blick ins benachbarte Ausland zeigt überdies, dass es wie ich es erwähnt hatte, erhebliche kulturelle Unterschiede beim Verteilen von Lob und Anerkennung gibt: Vier von fünf befragten Niederländern sind sich beispielsweise sicher, dass ihre Arbeit anerkannt wird. Dort sehen sich lediglich 11 Prozent nicht oder ungenügend gewürdigt (mit 56 Prozent sind das in Deutschland fünfmal so viele Menschen!). In Dänemark, Schweden, Norwegen und Italien empfinden immerhin zwei Drittel aller Befragten genügend Wertschätzung.
Das heißt es gibt wirklich ein Lob-Lücke...
Ich sage nicht dass die Ergebnisse der Studie repräsentativ sind. Bin nur der Meinung das es einen gewissen Gedanken Anstoß geben sollte, dass gegebenenfalls viele Menschen von der Aushilfe bis zum Vorstandsvorsitzenden an einer möglichen "Kultur mangelnder Anerkennung" leiden. Dies alleine sollte Anlass sein, über das Loben nachzudenken.
Einen Mangel an Lob und Anerkennung gibt es nicht nur im Verhältnis von Vertriebsbeauftragten, Chefs und Vorgesetzten zu Ihren Kunden, Arbeitnehmern oder Mitarbeitern bzw. gleichrangigen Kollegen untereinander.
Meine Anregung an euch; denkt an Situationen wo ein Partner, Kunde, Kollege, Familienmitglied an "Unterernährung" in Sachen Wertschätzung leiden könnte und probiert dann mit lobenden Worten und positivem Feedback in eurer Umgebung einen Unterschied zu machen.
Wichtig für mich hier ist, das Ich in keiner Form anklagend sein wollte, dies ist ein Ansporn das man eventuell auch im Partner Management benutzten könnte. Ich freue mich von euch zu hören und verbleibe bis dahin mit den Besten Grüße aus dem heiteren Copenhagen.
Euer Moderator Mark von Rosing
In this little article, I would like to discuss how you can change your behavior, when you change your state of mind. As a basic principle, we all know that our mind has a lot to do with our state of being. I was already told by my mother, when I was a very young boy, these principles of consciousness and awareness about the power of your mind (and thereby your reality); if you feel you are on a roll, you will be on a role. If you feel that you cannot win, you will not win. Often there are times that you can do nothing wrong. Other times you can do nothing right. But the basic fact that your mindset is the reality within you can operate is very important.
Train yourself to continue to be on a role!! Here are some findings that mean something for me and my principles of consciousness about my state of mind:
Neurophysiological state
Enabling States (builds on the positive energies we have) – Confidence, love, inner strength, ecstasy, belief – tap great wellsprings of personal power
Paralysing States (builds on the negative energies we have) – Confusion, depression, fear, sadness, angst and frustration – leaves us powerless
If you can change a state, you can change a behavior!! We need to learn how to put us into an empowering state or behavior.
Peoples needs and goals, are almost always to achieve the state that they would ideally be in. Money will assist in achieving a feeling of freedom, success and respect. This is a state and a feeling.
The key to love, power, joy is the ability to control, direct and manage your states – your mindset.
Learn to effectively run your thoughts (brain). Man has been fascinated for centuries how to alter his states:- drugs, music, sex, religion, liquor, chanting. These all have their uses and limitations and will not help you find your potential.
There is an easier way that is easier, quicker and more precise. Let us take a look on the 2 components that create the state we are in?
1 Internal representations (mind)
E.g. spouse comes home late:
If worried about accident, unconditional love, and TG he’s home. State of concern If concerned about gambling/affair…different set of behaviors. State of angry and used. Our beliefs, attitudes, values and past experiences with the person all affect the type of representations we will make about the behaviors.
2 Physiology (Body)
Muscle tension, how we breathe, what we eat, posture, overall level of biochemical functioning have a huge impact on our state.
IR and P will work together in a cybernetic loop. What will effect one will affect the other. If you’re feeling ill and tired, IR will be –ve. If you feel vibrant and on a roll, IR will be +ve.
Learn how to change 1 & 2 to achieve results.
1 and 2 determine our behavior…Verbal and Physical – what we do and say.
Since we don’t know how things really are , but only how we represent them to ourselves, represent them in a way that empowers us and others. Focus on the positive.
If we represent to ourselves that something is not going to work it will not work. If we form a representation that it will work, we create the IR’s to produce the state that will support us in producing positive results. Life is like a river, its moving. You can be at the mercy of the river, or you can steer it in a predetermined course. At the end of the day, all of us will reach the same destination…what will differ is the knowledge, satisfaction, enjoyment and added value created along the way. Always move with the tide…if you move against it, it is like pushing shit uphill. The tide is determined by the set of values and beliefs that you hold. Your behavior and actions are a result of your state. If your IR tells you are going to have an accident…you will have an accident. If your IR tells you that you will be successful, you will be successful.
The ancestor of every action is a thought.
If one changes ones beliefs and IR’s to +ve, one can achieve huge results. There is no power like the power of a positive resourceful state, for the kind of behavior people produce is the result of the state they are in. How they respond to the state they are in is based on their models of the world (the reality within they operate). Most people take little conscious effort to direct their state of mind. When people try to change something, they should not change what they do, they should start changing their state of mind, which imprisons them. So when people want to change - State change is what most people are after. They want to be in a +ve state. Believe me when I tell you that happy and successful people know how to tap into their resourceful states. You could do this as well, for you can control the state you are in. You do not have to be at the mercy of whatever comes your way. “If you refuse to get the best in life, you will always get it”
Here is the success formula, I was taught as a young boy by my mother:
“Control your thoughts they become your dreams (wishes and thereby what you strive for)
Control your dreams they become your actions
Control your actions they become your habits
Control your habits they become your destiny”
Here are some good dreams to have, some good actions to take, some good habits to build.............and hopefully a good destiny to have (these are taken from my brothers family goals):
• be grateful
• be smart
• be clean
• be true
• be positive
• be humble
• be involved
• be still
• be understanding
• be loving
• be a part
Today, you are a summery/result of all decisions and commitments you have made in life! If you want to change your behavior, you have to change your decisions and commitments, which is your “state of being”. So how do you change your output? In changing your habits………..which means changing your actions ……………….. which means changing your dreams.
So this is how it works (combining the discussed) in order to target - Know your outcome.
• Control your thoughts – they are your state of mind and ultimately decide your behavior. This is why it sais in the Tora (the oldest known spiritual and personal development scriptures known to man)”beware of your thoughts - they are the gateway to your soul”.
• Action - Take action that you believe will produce the results you desire – else your desire will always only be your dreams
• Determine habits - Develop sensory acuity to recognize the responses and results you are getting from your habits, to determine whether they are moving towards the outcome.
• Adapt and change until desired result is achieved - Develop the flexibility to change your action until you get the result you want to achieve your outcome.
Take actions to achieve your dreams and build the habits that can make them happen. Success is not a random roll of the dice. There are consistent, logical patterns of action, specific pathways of habits that lead to excellence, which are within the reach of us all. Just remember that The key, is the ability to control, direct and manage your states (yourself).
Good luck on working on your state of mind - Mark von Rosing
